Gintoki's Head Kinda Looks Like A Vanilla Cotton Candy Doesn't It
by ijustwanttodestroy
Summary: Hijikata flips him the finger, and the next thing that happens is Hijikata charging at him – well, at his blanket – with animalistic ferocity and pulls with the strength of hairy Hercules all the while screaming a war cry that sounds suspiciously like mayonnaise! and Gintoki wonders why is he in love with this bastard of all people. (summary: otp being cute and shit)


**Summary: otp being cute and shit**

 **Disclaimer: sorachi's**

 **Gintoki's Head Kinda Looks Like A Vanilla Cotton Candy Doesn't It**

Gintoki wakes up and _wow, cold._

He _mmh_ -s and blinks, eyes heavy from sleep and he can feel some eye shits dragging on his lids but he can't bother to get rid of them because, _jesus christ it's probably fucking two am_ , and then he groans because this has happened way too often for his liking that he knows _why_ it's so fucking cold.

"G'damn, greedy bastard stop hoggin' the blanket – "

He flails his arm a few times before finally, _hurrah_ , succeeding to find the blanket and he pulls to get the warmth he deserves except that the blanket _won't fucking budge._

He pulls some more.

And more.

"God fucking dammit."

Hijikata _mmmh_ -s and anytime Gintoki would coo and aww because that cute _mmh_ is not the kind of noise Hijikata would make if the man is awake, but right now Gintoki needs. The fucking. Blanket.

Hijikata grumbles something incoherrent, which Gintoki takes as a " _no, fuck your early ass_ " and so he claws at the blanket with two hands and pulls with raw kinda-morning-kinda-not strength that his forearms' muscles strain.

Not even a flinch.

"Ohh, fuck you," Gintoki mumbles. "Fuck me too. Literally… jesus fuck. Gimme the – fucking – _blanket_ –"

Hijikata swings his arm to the right and smacks _right_ into Gintoki's nose.

Gintoki needs to lay motionless for so long to collect himself and ease the painful pulse in his nose.

 _Okay, that's it, asshat._

"Okay, that's it, asshat. This is like the hundredth time. Or the fourth, fine. Now, just, just, _just_ – _ugh –"_ Hijikata is strong, sure, but this is inhumane. " _Let it go_ …!"

 _Fuck you_ , Gintoki thinks. _Fuck you for taking my blanket every night and for making mmh noises and for looking cute in your sleep, fuck you._

"Fuck you," Gintoki says before poking his finger hard into the dip of Hijikata's waist.

Hijikata jolts and Gintoki swears he sees _murder_ written over Hijikata's eyes as he wakes up and kicks him in the shin.

"OW!" Gintoki doubles over, " _fuckyougivemetheblanket –_ that fucking hurts – ow!"

"Fuck you!" Hijikata hisses, as if _he_ is the one getting robbed off _his_ blanket, and then he turns over and snuggles more into the said blanket.

 _Gintoki's_ blanket.

"No, fuck _you_!" Gintoki doesn't care how endearing, how _grossly adorable_ it is to see Hijikata cocooning himself in Gintoki's blanket because, goddammit it's _Gintoki's blanket,_ and he needs it, he demands his rightful ownership of it. Really, he doesn't care. Really. _Really._ "I'm cold, asshole! Share the fucking thing!"

Hijikata mumbles incoherently with an angry tone of voice, again, as if _he_ is the one getting kicked in the balls – and does not move.

So, Gintoki latches himself to Hijikata's bare back and sneaks his arms over his stomach. Get this: _really_ latches himself, skin to skin pressing flush, every curves filling one another and he can hear Hijikata's breath hitching and Hijikata shudders because 1. They are both naked, 2. Gintoki's skin is hella cold (guess whose fault it is), 3. Read the first cause.

Suddenly Hijikata is _very much_ awake.

"What the – the _fuck_ are you _doin'_ –"

"I'm cold, bastard." Gintoki says, mouth attaching to one of Hijikata's scars on his left shoulder blade, voice muffled. Hijikata twitches when he feels the Gintoki's breath gusting over his skin, "and you're warm."

Hijikata blushes.

(Not cutesy shy blushing, but furious angry (and shy) blushing.)

"Stop that, you filthy ingrate."

"Make me." Hijikata _can_ feel Gintoki's smirk on his flesh.

Hijikata pushes his elbow backwards sharply.

" _Ow_ – fuck you!" Gintoki curses and whines Hijikata almost feels guilty. Almost. "Leave my nose alone, for fucks sake! And give me the fucking blanket already!"

Hijikata smirks, Gintoki can hear it in his words. "Make me."

Gintoki's vein twitches; goddamn Hijikata and his _somewhat-sexy-smirk-even-though-Gintoki-can't-see-it-and-yet-it-still-kinda-turns-him-on_ shit and warm skin and bumpy scars.

Gintoki moves his palms.

He slides them smoothly, ghosting along Hijikata's abs and to his sides. Hijikata tenses, Gintoki's hands stay still, Gintoki's lips moves from one scar to another, Hijikata sighs, Gintoki starts kissing along the back of his neck, Hijikata swallows –

Gintoki's mouth reaches the underside of his right ear.

"Mm, give me the blanket?"

Goddamn Gintoki and his unpaid rent and how he seemingly is _always capable_ to make Hijikata's insides feels like a useless lump of goo and that _mm_ noise he makes and curious hands and fucking _lips._

 _Fuck you,_ Hijikata thinks, and Hijikata turns and then Hijikata looks for those goddamn lips.

Gintoki feels triumph when he has lips against his into a kiss – close-mouthed kiss, because it's considerably morning and morning breath is never pleasant – Hijikata glares at him with each smooch and Gintoki responses with a gradually widening grin he can't really kiss properly anymore.

"Fuck you." Another smooch.

"Aw, don't be like that. You love me."

"Fuck you. Seriously."

"Go ahead and fuck me – _oomph_! _My balls_ , god – "

Hijikata hisses and turns over with his back to Gintoki because, fuck his horny useless ass – Hijikata swears to god he means that metaphorically. Really. Metaphorically – it's two am and he needs to sleep.

Well, where the fuck is his blanket now?

Gintoki grins with the blanket draping on his chest – it takes Hijikata a few seconds to take his eyes away from Gintoki's collarbones – and not on where it's supposed to be, that is _Hijikata's_ chest. When the fuck did that happen?

"Y'know, it's very flattering how my kissing can distract you so much."

Fuck Gintoki's horny useless ass.

And that pair of gross lips.

Hijikata has no fucking idea why does he feel turned on all of a sudden.

"Gimme the blanket."

"Mm... no," Gintoki shakes his head, and pouts his mouth in an attempt to be cute. "Dun' wanna."

Hijikata's vein twitches.

"Gimme the fucking blanket."

"Nuh-uh."

" _Gimme_! Now!"

"Ouchy."

"Don't you say that. It's disgustin'."

"Ouchy."

"Fuck you!"

Gintoki poses with both hands in his hair, his elbows a perfect 45 degrees. "Hell yeah! Fuck me!"

Hijikata flips him the finger the next thing that happens is Hijikata charging at him – well, at his _blanket_ – with animalistic ferocity and pulls with the strength of hairy Hercules all the while screaming a war cry that sounds suspiciously like _mayonnaise!_ and Gintoki wonders why is he in love with this bastard of all people.

"Let _go !"_

" _You_ let go!"

"No, you!"

" _Let it go_ ," Gintoki hums, " _let it go, the cold never bothers me anyway_ –"

" _Funny how some distance, make everything seems small … the fear that once control me_ – shut the fuck up, don't you try distracting me with that … surprisingly catchy soundtrack from a kid movie!"

Gintoki deadpans. "You cried when Anna turned to ice."

Hijikata's face looks like a smoking tomato at this point. "I did not."

"Did too. You also yelled _'you fucking asshole!'_ when that lying jerk Hank betrayed her."

"No, that was you! And his name is Hans. Wait – the blanket, you dick!"

"Fine, stop bitching."

And Gintoki _actually_ lets go of the blanket, he smirks in satisfaction as Hijikata's eyes widen in surprise. Hijkata's weight shifts off balance and he falls on his back with an oomph. Before he can do anything to regain his composure, Gintoki throws the blanket away and _glomps_ Hijikata.

"Yeah, that's more like it," Gintoki mumbles, "warm."

"Oi," Hijikata growls, but there are red patches on his cheeks still and Gintoki _knows_ Hijikata can feel every nook and cranny of their bodies lining together without a single thread inbetween. "This isn't the blanket."

Gintoki smiles at him, slow and lazy. Hijikata sees _that look_ in his eyes and he knows what Gintoki is up to – he's had a feeling that this would happen, he _knows_ this would happen. He hates Gintoki.

(Not like he did anything to prevent this from happening.)

"Gin-san will be your blanket."

 _Ohh,_ Hijikata thought, _fuck this._ Fuck morning breath, fuck the fact that they already did it last night, and most importantly: fuck Gintoki.

Literally.

Hijikata is the one who initiated the kiss – to Gintoki's pleasant surprise – though their mouths open simultaneously, so natural, like they've done it thousand times.

(They have.)

"Hngg … fuck you," Hijikata mutters, Gintoki starts nipping his jaw, down to his adam apple.

"Yeah, please do," the Bastard replies, flashing the devil's grin and Hijikata just kinda loses his shit.

Hijikata pushes at Gintoki's shoulders, roughly, he knows Gintoki doesn't mind that; Hijikata pretty sure he likes it. Hijikata looms above him, each knees securing Gintoki's waist to place. "This is payback for last night."

Gintoki arches a playful brow. "You sure you can do me as hard as I did you?"

"Fuck you," Hijikata replies, then he clutches Gintoki's hair and kiss recklessly, teeth biting, fingers pulling strands of silver curls and Hijikata feels both of them smiling in the middle of kisses.


End file.
